How do I talk about seeing other people?

Here's how you declutter your life: get radically honest about what matters, let go of what drains you, and choose people, habits, and commitments with intention. Make space for the things, people, and feelings that genuinely support your growth. If something isn’t serving you, it’s time for it to go.

Situationships, with all their modern gray area and shifting boundaries, tend to bring a lot of noise into our daily lives. You might feel anxious about where you stand, distracted by endless texting, or overwhelmed by trying to decode other people’s intentions. Decluttering your life involves much more than cleaning your closet or inbox. It’s about clearing out the relationships, routines, and thoughts that no longer align with your deeper needs or your most honest self.

Start by confronting your own patterns. Are you spending too much emotional energy worrying about people who don’t make you a priority? Are you saying yes to plans, messages, or expectations that you don’t actually want? Are you keeping old flames in your phone “just in case”? Take inventory. Write down what you notice. Then, have the courage to say “no” and create boundaries that feel good for you.

Decluttering also means facing discomfort—the FOMO, the what-ifs, and the guilt that may come up as you prioritize yourself. You might be afraid that pulling back from a situationship will make you lonely or leave you with regrets. Here’s the truth: clearing out space is rarely easy at first, but it’s always freeing in the long run. By stepping away from what’s messy or unfulfilling, you create greater capacity for new connections, deeper self-awareness, and real intimacy (when you want it).

Examine your digital life, too. Social media, texts, and dating apps are packed with distractions and triggers. Unfollow accounts that make you feel less-than or burned out. Mute chats that leave you drained or confused. Stop scrolling when you notice yourself getting anxious or judgmental. Your attention is valuable—spend it only where it feels nourishing.

Letting go doesn’t have to mean dramatic break-ups or quitting everything. Sometimes it’s small shifts—saying no to 2 AM texts, leaving group chats that spiral into endless speculation, or spacing out your social calendar. It’s also about adding in what you do want: focus on hobbies, friendships, and routines that restore your energy and self-worth.

The more you declutter, the easier it becomes to see situationships and other relationship dynamics for what they are—without all the noise, confusion, or self-doubt clouding your judgment. With clarity, you can choose partners, experiences, and paths with genuine confidence, not out of habit or hope that someone else will finally change.

If untangling your feelings, boundaries, or next steps ever feels too overwhelming, you’re not alone. Young women navigating modern dating rarely get truly personalized support that understands the chaos of situationships. That’s why notBf was created as an AI companion—to help you get clarity, ask the tough questions, and support you through each unique step of decluttering your relationship life, on your terms.