How do I negotiate intimacy levels that feel safe for both?

Start by getting honest about what you truly want from your life and relationships. Identify what adds value to your daily routine, and what’s just taking up space—emotionally, physically, or socially. Then, take deliberate steps to let go of the unnecessary, so you can make room for more clarity and fulfillment.

In the world of situationships and modern dating, the concept of "decluttering your life" goes far beyond just cleaning out your closet. It’s about clearing emotional, digital, and even social clutter that keeps you from moving forward with confidence. Most of us end up dragging along old habits, unresolved feelings, and a bunch of low-key commitments that never really serve us. This can weigh heavily, especially when navigating the highs and lows of undefined relationships.

First, focus on your emotional space. Ask yourself: what feelings or memories am I holding onto that no longer serve me? This could be resentment from past relationships, anxieties about impressing others, or guilt about setting boundaries. Take time to journal, talk things out with a friend, or work with a therapist. Get clear about which emotions are rooted in your current reality, and which are just lingering background noise. By externalizing your feelings, you start to see what’s yours to keep and what you should let go.

Next, declutter your digital world. Unfollow or mute people on social media whose content brings you down, confuses your goals, or makes you second-guess yourself. Organize your phone and delete conversations, dating apps, or contacts who are no longer part of your life. The information you allow in can affect your mindset more than you realize, and mental clutter often starts with what’s on your screen.

Social decluttering is tougher, but essential. Take stock of your relationships and observe which connections truly energize you and support your growth. You don’t need to rigidly cut people out, but you can make small shifts: spend less time replying to draining messages, say "no" to plans that don’t excite you, and give yourself permission to prioritize people whose presence feels positive.

Finally, look at your physical environment. Cluttered spaces can make your mind feel scattered or stuck. Clean out your room, organize your favorite spaces, and get rid of things that no longer represent the person you’re becoming. The impact of a tidy, intentional environment on your mood and self-esteem can be bigger than you expect.

Decluttering your life isn’t about perfection. It’s about creating enough space so you can pay attention to what matters most—your well-being, your values, and your ability to recognize healthy connections. Tidying up your emotional, digital, social, and physical life gives you the clarity to make intentional choices in a situationship and beyond.

If you ever feel like you need a little more guidance, or just want someone to help you make sense of your feelings and priorities, notBf is a unique AI companion that’s been created specifically for young women navigating situationships. It’s the only hyper-personalised app designed to help you clarify what you want, build self-awareness, and support your journey—one less thing to declutter in your busy, beautiful life.