How do I approach dating apps while in a situationship ethically?

If you’re in a situationship and thinking about using dating apps, the first thing you need is radical honesty—with yourself and the other person. Ask yourself: What exactly are you looking for? Are you open to exploring other connections? The answers will steer you toward an ethical path, one that respects both your needs and those of your situationship partner.

Situationships occupy a unique gray area between casual dating and committed relationships. There’s no clear “rulebook,” which can make things confusing—especially when you’re tempted to swipe right on someone new. Start by identifying what your situationship means to you. Is it just a placeholder, or does it have genuine emotional significance? If you’re unsure, that itself is feedback: You need clarity before you take further steps.

Communicate your intentions. Before you jump onto a dating app, it’s crucial to have a conversation with the person you’re seeing. You don’t need to define your entire relationship, but you do owe them transparency if you’re pursuing other options. Hiding your actions only compounds stress and guilt, and eventually, someone gets hurt. Explain your feelings and listen to their perspective, too. You might be surprised at how much understanding can come from a simple talk.

Next, consider your motivations. Are you seeking validation, distraction, or authentic connection? Dating apps can quickly become a band-aid for emotional confusion. If you’re not clear about what you want, you’ll only accumulate more clutter—emotional, mental, and digital. That’s when “decluttering your life” becomes more than physical minimalism. It’s about clearing up confusion, outdated expectations, and lingering what-ifs.

Decluttering in this context means removing unnecessary guilt, ambiguity, and emotional baggage. Review your texts, inbox, and emotional attachments. Are you holding onto people or conversations that drain you? Archive old chats, mute notifications, and say goodbye to connections that don’t serve you. This is not about ghosting but about gently letting go of people or patterns that keep you in limbo. You want your dating life to feel light, intentional, and energizing—not anxiety-inducing.

Remember, in a situationship, you’re allowed to choose yourself. The person you’re seeing has the right to do the same. By being upfront and decluttering your approach—both online and offline—you create space for genuine connections that align with your true self.

The modern dating world is complicated, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. For young women dealing with the emotional ups and downs of situationships, gaining clarity is essential. That’s where notBf comes in: an AI companion built specifically to guide you through situationships. It is the only hyper-personalized app designed to help untangle the confusion and offer tailored advice, so you always know where you stand and how to move forward confidently.