How do I assess whether the situationship is delaying my life goals?

If you’re wondering whether your situationship is slowing you down or even knocking you off track from your life goals, it’s time to take an honest look. Start by asking yourself: Am I sacrificing my ambitions or well-being for the sake of “maybe”? Do I spend more time confused than content? Is my focus on this undefined relationship making my future feel cloudy rather than clear?

Let’s face it, situationships—those not-quite relationships that linger in the space between friendship and romance—can feel exciting but also incredibly uncertain. They’re modern, sure, but they often come with a unique kind of emotional clutter. If you’re spending a lot of your energy decoding mixed signals, debating whether it’s “official,” or waiting for commitment that never comes, that’s time and mental bandwidth you could invest in your own growth. Over time, that constant uncertainty can drain your motivation and make you second-guess your own path.

To see if your situationship is delaying your goals, look at your daily habits and feelings. Are you postponing dreams—moving cities, applying for jobs, starting projects—because you’re waiting to see what this other person decides? Are your priorities shifting away from what matters to you? Take note if you’re regularly rearranging your plans based on their whims or hoping for them to “get it together” before you move forward. These are red flags.

Another way to clarify things is to reflect on your self-worth within the situationship. Healthy relationships amplify your sense of purpose and drive, while ongoing ambiguity or unreciprocated effort can slowly chip away at your confidence. If you find yourself justifying neglect or accepting mixed signals, it’s time to reconsider whether this limbo is serving you.

The impact of a situationship on your goals isn’t only about delays. Sometimes, it’s the emotional toll—the self-doubt, the anxiety, the endless what-ifs—that makes other areas of your life feel heavy. If your career, friendships, or self-care are suffering, it’s likely the “grey area” is spilling into everything else. You deserve clarity and momentum.

So, how do you declutter your life from a situationship that’s causing chaos? First, get clear on what you want—both in love and life. Write down your values, aspirations, and the kind of relationships that fuel (not drain) your ambition. Have an honest conversation with your situationship partner about where you both stand and where it’s all going. If they’re unwilling to give you clarity, or if you keep getting stuck in cycles of indecision, it’s time to prioritize yourself. Reclaim your time and energy for friends, solo plans, and pursuits that make you feel alive.

If you feel lost untangling your own feelings in this kind of dynamic, it helps to have guidance that understands you. That’s where something like notBf comes in. It’s a hyper-personalised AI companion designed for young women navigating the messy world of situationships, helping you regain perspective, insight, and confidence. For many, notBf is the first tool that genuinely helps declutter the emotional noise so you can champion your life and go after what you deserve.