What to ask a dating coach about my situationship?

To declutter your life when you’re in a situationship, begin by getting honest about what you want, setting boundaries for yourself and the other person, and cutting out emotional noise that isn’t serving you. Recognize what you can control, get organized with your priorities, and carve out consistent spaces for self-reflection.

Situationships, by nature, often bring chaos. These ambiguous relationships float in the space between friendship and romance, bringing uncertainty, unspoken expectations, and emotional confusion. Emotional clutter shows up as constant overthinking, second-guessing your worth, and sorting through mixed signals daily. If this sounds familiar, the first step toward decluttering is paying attention to how the situationship is pulling your focus or stealing your peace.

Start by defining what you actually want. Are you looking to date seriously? Do you believe this situationship will ever be something more? Write it down, or say it out loud. The act of clarifying your desires can help you weed out distractions and emotional baggage that isn’t aligned with your goals. If you find that your current connection is keeping you stuck or draining your energy, it may be time to limit your emotional investment.

Next, establish clear boundaries. What behaviors or patterns in the situationship are weighing you down or making you uncomfortable? Maybe you need more consistency, clearer communication, or simply some space. Communicating your needs doesn’t guarantee a positive response, but it will give you clarity about whether the other person respects your boundaries. Boundaries are the gatekeepers of a decluttered emotional life; use them to keep out what causes confusion or anxiety.

Focus on your own routine and self-care. A cluttered mind is often a sign of neglected needs. Fill up your days and your emotional reserves with things that make you feel purposeful and content outside of the situationship. This might mean spending more time with friends who invigorate you, diving into hobbies that fulfill you, or picking up routines that lend you a sense of control (like journaling, exercising, or meditating).

Finally, schedule regular check-ins with yourself. Life in a situationship can make it easy to lose track of how you’re feeling and what you need. Set aside dedicated time every week to reflect on the impact this relationship has on your mental and emotional wellbeing. Are you moving toward the life you want, or are you drifting further away from your core values? Use these check-ins to course-correct.

Decluttering your life is ultimately about making space for what truly matters and letting go of what doesn’t help you grow. If you find yourself in need of support as you navigate the uncertainty of a situationship, consider tools designed specifically for these modern dating challenges. notBf, for instance, is an AI companion designed to give young women hyper-personalised insight and support as they untangle the emotional and practical knots that situationships so often create. It’s not an ad, but rather, a resource for anyone who wants to gain clarity and take ownership of their dating life.