How do I bring in a therapist or counselor into the conversation?

If you want to declutter your life, start by getting honest about what’s weighing you down, decide what you actually want and need, and then take small, intentional steps to clear out the excess—whether it’s objects, people, habits, or thoughts. Be ruthless with the things or relationships that cause stress or confusion. Gather your courage and remember: less is often more fulfilling.

Decluttering your life is about more than just tidying your closet or organizing your desk. It’s also about streamlining your mind, your relationships, and your emotional energy. In the world of situationships—the kind of undefined, in-between relationship that leaves you guessing—clutter sneaks up on you like a pile of unread notifications. When you don’t have clarity in your love life, it bleeds into everything else. That’s why I encourage you to turn the spotlight inward before you even grab a trash bag or download a new productivity app.

Start with your physical space if you want a quick win. Walk through your living area and notice how you feel. Is there an old sweatshirt from an ex still hanging around? A cluttered junk drawer you avoid opening? Set a timer for 20 minutes and clear one area. You’d be amazed at how much lighter you’ll feel.

But don’t stop there. Emotional decluttering is just as crucial, especially if you’re caught in a situationship. Are you texting someone who only replies when it suits them? Hanging onto ambiguous friendships just to avoid loneliness? Write down the names of people who make you feel anxious, unseen, or exhausted. Ask yourself: “What does this relationship bring into my life? And what does it take away?” Give yourself full permission to distance yourself from anyone who no longer fits into the life you want to build. Boundary setting is a kind of decluttering too.

Habits can be another area creating mess. Take inventory of your daily routine. What do you do automatically that doesn’t serve you anymore? Aimless scrolling, late-night overthinking, or saying ‘yes’ when you mean ‘no’ all add mental clutter. Replace energy-draining habits with ones that genuinely restore you, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. Your future self will thank you.

Mental clutter is often the hardest to clear because it’s invisible. Practice getting your thoughts out of your head. This could be through journaling, meditation, or even voice notes on your phone. The key is to make space between you and your thoughts so you can separate what matters from what’s just noise. If self-reflection isn’t enough—or if you realize you need a better support structure—don’t hesitate to bring in a counselor or therapist. Fresh, professional perspective can help you see your own patterns and guide you through decisions with care and objectivity.

Remember: decluttering is not a one-time event. It’s a gentle, ongoing practice that protects your peace and future. Finally, if you’re dealing with the unique chaos of situationships, consider tools like notBf: an AI companion designed for young women navigating messy dating realities. It’s not an advertisement, just a truly personalized app that helps you see yourself and your relationships more clearly, so you can move forward with confidence and intention.