How do I manage intimacy differences (sex vs. emotional)?

Start by being brutally honest about what adds value to your life and what simply creates noise. Make a list of your emotional, physical, and social commitments and ask yourself which of them genuinely nurture you. Cut, reduce, or renegotiate everything else.

When we talk about decluttering, most people think of their closets or work desks. But if you’re in a situationship or navigating the chaotic new world of dating, mental and emotional clutter can pile up much faster than old sweaters. The truth is, the messiest part of your life is often your own mind. Clarity begins by identifying what you allow into your headspace and setting boundaries with yourself and others.

Start with your routine. Do you spend hours obsessing over texts, stalking social media, or replaying conversations? This is a classic form of mental clutter. Limit how much time you dedicate to analyzing your situationship. Instead, put that energy into hobbies or self-improvement. You'll find that things become clearer when you’re not fixated on decoding someone’s emojis.

Next, evaluate your relationships. The FOMO that comes from modern dating apps can lead you to keep way too many "maybes" around, draining your emotional bandwidth. If someone isn’t giving you the respect or clarity you need, have the courage to step back or initiate a real conversation about where things are going. Remember, your time is valuable, and constantly catering to uncertainty will bury you under unnecessary emotional baggage.

Decluttering your social circle is equally important. If your friends’ advice sounds more like pressure than support, set limits with them as well. You don't need a Greek chorus every time you make a dating decision. Trust yourself. Curate your sources of input, focusing only on advice and people who uplift and understand your values.

Physical decluttering still matters, too, especially if your environment is a reflection of your mind. Clear out your living space, organise your phone, and unfollow people or accounts that make you second guess your own worth. Creating a tidy environment gives you physical and mental room to breathe.

Finally, practice saying no. No to extra obligations, irrelevant dates, emotional roller coasters, and digital distractions. The space you create is sacred, and you decide who or what gets to occupy it.

If you’re feeling lost or unsure of where to start, notBf can be a sounding board to help you gain clarity. It is more of a companion than an adviser, providing personalised support as you filter out the noise and centre your own needs in the ever-changing dating world. Sometimes all you need is a space—digital or otherwise—dedicated to figuring things out for yourself.