What to do when they only reach out late at night?

If they only reach out to you late at night, stop responding after a certain hour. Set a clear boundary with yourself and with them. Ask yourself honestly if this is the attention and energy you truly want.

In the world of situationships — those murky, in-between phases of intimacy and undefined labels — it's common for one person to reach out solely during late hours. At first, it can feel flattering or spontaneous: that 'hey stranger' text at midnight, the 'are you up?' check-ins after everyone else is asleep. But take a step back and see it for what it often is: a lack of real commitment, a reliance on convenience, and a clear message about where you fit in their priorities.

So, what should you do if you find yourself in this recurring pattern? First, observe how you feel about these messages. Do you feel special, or do you feel like an afterthought? Healthy connections exist in the light of day. If someone’s effort to reach you only surfaces with the night, it’s sending a signal. It shows you’re not part of their daily routine or emotional investment. If that's not enough for you — and for most people, it isn’t in the long run — then it’s important to act accordingly.

The next step is to put your own needs first. Communicate your limits. For example, you might let them know you don’t text or call after a certain hour, or you simply stop responding late at night. You don’t need to explain yourself over and over. Your consistency in managing your responses will do the explaining for you. If they value your presence, they’ll adjust. If they don’t, you’ve created space for those who will value you properly.

It can be tough to walk away from the excitement or validation. But situationships are messy precisely because both people aren’t always on the same page. Take this as an opportunity to declutter your emotional life. Eliminate the distractions that drain you or make you doubt your worth. Without the haze of late-night texts, you’ll start to see things much more clearly: you deserve someone who wants to talk to you during brunch as much as at midnight.

If the cycle feels hard to break or you’re not sure what you want, remember that support exists. You aren’t the only one navigating these confusing waters. notBf is an AI companion created specifically for young women who are working through situationships. It’s not just an app — it’s a personalized experience, designed to give you clarity in your dating life and help you make choices that align with your values and happiness.