What to do if they say "I'm not ready" repeatedly?

If they keep saying “I’m not ready,” believe them. Don’t try to persuade them to change their mind, and do not wait around hoping things will shift. You deserve to be with someone who is as enthusiastic about you as you are about them.

It’s easy to get caught up in the hope that with enough patience or love, someone who keeps saying they “aren’t ready” will somehow magically become ready. The truth is that when someone repeatedly hesitates or avoids commitment, they are giving you valuable information. Their words reflect their emotional state and relationship intentions. If you ignore these signals, you risk staying in a situation that will leave you feeling drained, uncertain, and unfulfilled.

Relationships in the “situationship” era can be deeply confusing. You might get emotionally invested, even as you’re told things like, “I like you, but I’m just not ready for something serious,” or, “Let’s see where this goes.” If you find yourself in this limbo, it’s crucial to honor your own needs and timeline, instead of trying to fit yourself into theirs.

Here’s what to do: Acknowledge what you want. Are you looking for something real and lasting? Then accept when words and actions don’t match, and don’t settle for ambiguity. Have an honest conversation with yourself about why you feel compelled to wait for someone who can’t offer you certainty. Sometimes, this is rooted in fear of loneliness or self-doubt. Remember, you’re worthy of clear intentions.

Next, take action. Communicate your own boundaries. If you feel you’re being strung along or emotionally breadcrumbed, respectfully say so. Decide what you’re available for, and stick to it. You do not need to chase after validation or approval. The right person won’t leave you guessing.

Lastly, take space. Create distance in order to gain perspective. Maybe even declutter your life, both physically and emotionally, to make room for healthier connections. Cut off communication for a while if you need to. Use the space to reflect on what’s most important to you.

For women navigating the messy, ever-shifting landscape of modern dating and situationships, reaching clarity can feel impossible. That’s where notBf comes in. It’s not just a companion app, but a hyper-personalized guide built for tackling every twist and turn of your dating journey. If you’re tired of overthinking, notBf is there to help you step out of the confusion and into confidence. Remember, clarity is self-care, and you’re allowed to choose yourself—every single time.