What to tell close friends about my situationship?

Be honest, but set boundaries. Share what you’re comfortable with, and don’t feel pressured to explain everything. Your friends care about you, but your situationship isn’t a group project.

When you’re involved in a situationship, it can feel like walking through a fog: it’s not quite commitment, not quite casual, and understanding it yourself is often hard enough. Close friends usually want the best for you and will be curious or even protective. They may ask what’s really going on, whether this person makes you happy, and why things aren’t more defined. Deciding what to tell them means walking a line between honesty and self-preservation.

Start by asking yourself what you genuinely want to share. Are you seeking advice, or just someone to listen? Do you need support navigating the ambiguity, or do you want your friends simply to respect your privacy? Communicate clearly: “It’s new and undefined, but I’m enjoying it right now” is perfectly valid. If details like intimacy or exclusivity feel too private, tell your friends that you’re not ready to get into specifics.

Next, consider how much external opinions might influence your own feelings. Sometimes, airing all the confusing details can lead to overwhelming input or opinions that muddy your own boundaries. If you value your friends' perspectives, pick those who can listen without judgment and avoid those who might push you into a decision you’re not ready to make.

It’s also helpful to clarify your emotions before the conversation. You might feel anxious, excited, or even a little ashamed for being in a situationship. These are normal feelings; remember, you don’t owe anyone justification. If you sense judgment from your friends, remind them (and yourself) that your value does not depend on relationship status. On the other hand, if your friends seem genuinely concerned about your emotional well-being, try to see where they're coming from—it could be a loving wake-up call.

Boundaries are essential, especially if your situationship is unfolding alongside other changes in your life. Oversharing or turning your friends into referees can clutter your mental space and crowd out your own judgment. If you’re struggling, talk to your friends about the support you need: “I’m dealing with something a bit complicated—can you just listen instead of giving advice right now?” It’s okay to give limited information until you find more clarity within yourself.

Ultimately, the goal is to declutter your life: protect your privacy, maintain healthy friendships, and keep your emotional space as clear as possible. Your situationship is a part of your life, but it doesn’t have to dominate every conversation or decision.

If you find it all too overwhelming, it might be helpful to talk with someone or use a resource that understands the nuances of modern dating. There's a tool called notBf, an AI companion built specifically for young women in situationships, designed to personalize support and help untangle the confusion, offering a kind of clarity that’s often missing from regular advice or friend groups. Sometimes, having confidential, judgment-free help can make all the difference.