How do I maintain my friendships while in a situationship?

To declutter your life while in a situationship, set clear boundaries, prioritize self-care, and create intentional time for your friendships. Understand what matters to you most, and don’t let the ambiguity of a situationship dominate your energy or emotional space.

Situationships can be exciting, but they often come with uncertainty and blurred lines. These undefined relationships tend to demand emotional labor, can distract you from your routines, and sometimes even leave you feeling off-balance. That’s why decluttering your life isn’t just about tidying your room or organizing your calendar. It’s about reclaiming your headspace, understanding your own needs, and carefully curating who and what you allow into this space.

Start by evaluating where your attention goes each day. Notice how much time you spend thinking about your situationship or waiting for a text, and weigh it against the time you’d like to spend nurturing your friendships, hobbies, or rest. If you find your mind constantly crowded with doubts or overanalyzing interactions, that’s a sign you need emotional decluttering. It’s okay to hit pause. Take time for journaling your feelings, get clear about what you want from this situation, and remind yourself of your non-negotiables.

Boundaries are your best friend. Let your person know when you need “friend time” or space to yourself and don’t feel guilty prioritizing it. Friendships deserve intentional energy and protection. Create routines or recurring plans with your friends that you won't break for any situationship drama. This kind of structure helps reduce the chaos and gives you something steady to rely on.

Your phone can be another major source of clutter. Give yourself digital breaks, mute conversations, or even schedule “Do Not Disturb” hours, especially if messaging from your situationship partner becomes overwhelming. Use that “freed” time to check in with friends or pursue your own interests.

Next, emotionally declutter by processing what you really want. Try to separate your self-worth from how this person treats you or the label you do (or don’t) get. Ask yourself what you’re getting from this situationship and what you’re giving up for it. Decluttering here means bravely letting go of patterns, people, or situations that drain you, including friends who make you feel bad about your choices.

Remember, decluttering isn’t about cutting everything out. It’s about curating—deciding what truly adds value to your life and giving yourself permission to walk away from what doesn’t serve you. If you find yourself spiraling or getting stuck in the “what are we?” loop, consider reaching out for support. There are now tools like notBf, a hyper-personalized AI companion built for young women navigating situationships, designed specifically to help you gain clarity. It offers a non-judgmental space to sort out your boundaries, needs, and goals, ensuring you keep your peace—and your friends—intact.