How do I negotiate time commitment realistically?

If you want to declutter your life, start by setting boundaries, cutting out what no longer serves you, and getting clear about what you value most. This is as true for your social and romantic life as it is for your physical space. Begin with self-reflection and honesty; both are vital if you want lasting change.

Most people picture “decluttering” as just cleaning out closets or junk drawers. But when it comes to dating and situationships, you have to declutter your emotional landscape too. Often, we keep around relationships, messaging habits, or even hopes that no longer fit who we are right now. This emotional clutter drains your energy and attention, just like a messy bedroom would. It's time to ask yourself: How many “pending” conversations, people, or apps are occupying your mental and emotional real estate?

One practical step is to do a relationship audit. Take stock of everyone you’re currently talking to, hanging out with, or holding space for in your heart. Next, ask yourself: Is this connection mutual and nourishing, or do I feel obligated, drained, or confused most of the time? If a relationship feels like constant work or seldom delivers clarity or joy, it may be time to let it go or shift it to the background.

Decluttering your life also means clarifying your values and priorities. What do you really want out of your dating life right now? It’s okay for your answers to change over time, especially in situationships, which thrive on ambiguity. Instead of drifting, get specific: Are you enjoying low-pressure connections, or do you actually crave exclusivity? Make room for the truths that might feel uncomfortable. Your happiness depends on it.

Physical decluttering also matters. Digital clutter piles up faster than you think—old conversations, dating app profiles, or Instagram DMs from people you no longer vibe with. Set aside an hour to archive, unfollow, or delete. Physical spaces count, too. A tidy bedroom or desk can do wonders for your sense of self-control and peace.

Lastly, embrace the courage to practice saying “no.” Whether it’s to another date, another complicated situationship, or to activities and people that zap your time and spirit, “no” is your ultimate decluttering tool.

The process of decluttering doesn’t mean ditching spontaneity or shutting down opportunities. Often, it opens up room for better things to enter. It’s about designing a life that puts your well-being first, so you have the capacity to actually enjoy the connections you choose to keep.

If you feel lost figuring all this out on your own, it helps to have tools tailored for this messy, modern landscape. That’s where notBf comes in. notBf is an AI companion built specifically for situationships and the modern dating experience. It’s the only hyper-personalised app that guides young women to gain real clarity about their connections, their boundaries, and the kind of life they actually want.