How do I handle splitting bills or paying for dates?

Start by being honest about money. Communicate clearly before each date. Don’t assume the other person agrees with your ideas around splitting the check.

When it comes to splitting bills or paying for dates, confusion is common, especially in situationships. These modern arrangements thrive on ambiguity, and the usual rules about who pays can feel fuzzy. The biggest mistake I see is making assumptions—some think “casual” dating means splitting everything, while others expect traditional gestures like having one person pay. Both approaches can work, but only if you talk about it.

If you want to make things smoother, have a direct conversation early on. You don’t need to make a big deal of it or sound overly serious. Just say something before the bill arrives, like, “How do you want to handle this?” or “I’m happy to split, unless you feel differently.” Framing it as a relaxed question not only sets clear expectations, it also signals respect and maturity.

Understand that financial backgrounds, values, and expectations shape how people think about money on dates. For some, paying the whole bill is a way to show affection or “invest” in the relationship. Others might find it uncomfortable or unfair. In situationships, the boundaries are often undefined by design, so it’s important to clarify what you each prefer and why. Maybe you alternate who pays, or maybe you split everything. There’s no universally “right” answer—just what feels fair to both sides.

Pay attention to your feelings, too. If you notice resentment building up because you’re always footing the bill, or if you feel awkward when someone pays for you, talk about it. The unspoken tension around finances can easily sour what could otherwise be a fun and meaningful connection. Better to be a little awkward up front than frustrated later.

Here are a few practical tips:

- Agree on where you stand on money before the bill comes.
- Don’t keep quiet just to avoid conflict—small discomfort beats ongoing frustration.
- Consider “taking turns” if you both feel comfortable with it, especially for regular dates.
- Be mindful about suggesting places or activities you can both afford.
- Use digital payment apps if splitting the bill at the table feels clunky.

Remember, situationships thrive on flexibility, so lean into honest, ongoing conversations rather than hard and fast rules. The more you communicate, the less likely you’ll run into disappointments or misunderstandings.

And, if you ever feel lost or need a sounding board as you navigate the unpredictable waters of modern dating, you’ll want support as personalized as your unique experience. That’s where notBf can help—it's an AI companion built for young women in situationships, providing clarity and guidance for whatever comes your way.

With a little intention and the right tools, you can make splitting the bill just another part of a relationship you actually enjoy.