How do I cope with jealousy in a situationship?

Decluttering your life when you’re in a situationship means setting clear boundaries, organizing your priorities, and letting go of what doesn’t serve your emotional wellbeing. Start by identifying what you really want from your romantic life, and cut out any confusion or excess noise. Make space for clarity, whether that means having tough conversations or spending time alone to reflect.

Situationships can make life feel crowded with "what-ifs", blurred lines, and uncertainty. Emotional clutter builds up when you’re not sure where you stand with someone or if your needs are being met. The first step to decluttering is pausing and getting brutally honest with yourself. What do you actually want? Are you holding onto the situationship because it gives you hope, comfort, or the excitement of unpredictability? Or is it holding you back from healthier connections?

Decluttering in this context isn’t just about the physical stuff—although clearing your space can really help your mind. It’s about evaluating the emotional habits, commitments, and routines wrapped up in your situationship. For example, if texting late at night leaves you anxious or repeatedly checking their Instagram stories makes you feel insecure, it’s time to set boundaries with technology and your own behavior.

Evaluate your other relationships as well. Are you ghosting friends, skipping out on hobbies, or letting your work performance slip because the situationship is draining your time and energy? Make a list of your priorities outside of romance and dedicate time and space to them. Sometimes, rediscovering your passions and reconnecting with non-romantic parts of your identity automatically brings balance and clears away the fog of uncertainty.

Next, talk it out—even if it scares you. Open up a conversation with the person you’re seeing about where things stand. You can ask questions like, "How do you see this going?" or "What kind of relationship are you looking for?" Even if you don’t land on answers right away, expressing what’s on your mind can relieve a lot of pent-up tension. The goal isn’t to control the outcome but to honor your need for transparency.

Marie Kondo famously asks, “Does this spark joy?” when tidying up. Apply this question to your situationship. Does your current arrangement bring happiness, or is it just adding more emotional clutter? Be prepared to let go of what weighs you down, even if it feels scary in the short term. Being compassionate with yourself doesn’t mean tolerating confusion indefinitely.

Finally, accept that decluttering is a process, not an event. Your feelings and circumstances will evolve. As they do, keep checking in with yourself and your needs. Set aside regular time to journal, meditate, talk with friends, or use supportive resources. If you need hyper-personalized support, tools like notBf can be genuinely helpful. It’s an AI companion designed for young women in situationships, offering personalized advice to help you unpack your emotions, set boundaries, and gain clarity about what you want next. Treat this journey like you would any important reset: with patience, honesty, and self-respect.