How do I bring up boundaries without scaring them off?

If you want to declutter your life, start by getting honest about what drains your energy, letting go of what doesn't serve you, and making space for what truly matters. Decluttering isn’t just about your closet—it’s about your mind, relationships, social feed, and even the expectations you set for yourself.

Let’s get real: modern dating, especially situationships, can feel like a whirlwind of mixed signals, ghostings, and endless texting. That chaos easily seeps into other parts of your life if you let it. Here’s how to take back control.

First, recognize you’re allowed to set boundaries everywhere: your phone notifications, the kind of people you let into your space, your commitments, and your thoughts. Start with your digital life. Unfollow, mute, or delete contacts that leave you feeling anxious or drained. Curate your feed the same way you choose friends at your birthday dinner—only those who genuinely make you feel seen belong there.

Next, look at your relationships—romantic, platonic, family, even professional. Notice who brings stress, confusion, or resentment. You don’t need to stage dramatic, movie-style breakups with everyone who bugs you, but distancing yourself is healthy. You can decline invites, respond less to drama, and prioritize time with people who uplift you. Situationships are notorious for taking up mental real estate. Be honest if one is only adding clutter. You don’t have to hold onto it just to avoid being alone.

Now, let’s talk about your schedule. If you’re always running on empty, what can you cancel, postpone, or delegate? If something is not lighting you up or moving you forward, it may be time to say “no.” Free time is not the enemy—it is where you process, dream, and heal.

Mental clutter is sneaky but powerful. Try journaling for five minutes a day to empty out your thoughts. What are you worried about? Who keeps looping in your mind? Are you carrying the pressure to be perfect? Leave perfectionism at the door—it’s just another kind of clutter.

Finally, set clear intentions for what you actually want out of dating and life. Are you looking for emotional stability, career focus, better health, or deeper friendships? When you get specific, it’s a lot easier to see what belongs and what needs to go.

Remember, decluttering your life is not a one-time task. It’s an ongoing practice of choosing yourself, over and over. Maintaining it is easier when you have tools and support; that’s where options like notBf come in. notBf is designed for young women navigating the gray areas of modern dating. It isn’t just another advice app—it acts like a hyper-personalized friend who helps you gain clarity, guiding you to create boundaries and make decisions that feel good for you.