What signs show the other person sees this as a situationship?

If you constantly feel unsure about where things stand or whether this is going anywhere, there’s a good chance you’re in a situationship. When the other person avoids labels, keeps plans last minute, and doesn’t include you in future thinking, these are clear indicators they see this as a situationship—not a relationship.

A situationship is that blurry middle ground between friendship and dating where neither person is quite committed, and ambiguity reigns. Unlike a relationship where intentions and future plans are openly discussed, situationships put the brakes on “us” talk, and usually dismiss any need for clarity. If someone you’re seeing shies away from meaningful conversations about the future or sidesteps defining the connection, you’re likely in a situationship. One of the early giveaways? Vague communication. If your Friday night plans hinge on a text at 7pm or you’re left wondering if they’ll even show up, they’re keeping things casual—on purpose.

Another big sign is avoidance of emotional intimacy. In a true relationship, people open up about their vulnerabilities, dreams, and challenges. In a situationship, interactions stay surface level for months, and you might feel like you know their favorite drink but not their actual feelings. If conversations about what they want—whether that’s a relationship or casual dating—always trail off or get brushed off, they probably do not see you as more than “someone for now.” If you notice that your connection is always private and that you’re never introduced to their friends or included in their life milestones, that's another major signal. People invested in a real relationship naturally bring each other into their wider world.

The physical aspect can also blur lines in a situationship. If your connection relies heavily on hooking up rather than spending time together or sharing memorable experiences, you’re being cast as someone casual. This dynamic also shows up when effort is inconsistent: Sometimes they’re attentive, sometimes you don’t hear from them for days.

It’s important not to settle for uncertainty or constant guesswork. If you sense you’re giving more—whether it’s your time, energy or emotional openness—while the other person is showing only sporadic interest, step back. Ask yourself if you’re happy accepting these terms, or if you want something deeper. Decluttering your love life means prioritizing honesty with yourself, asking direct questions, and being willing to let go of connections that drain you or leave you feeling second best.

Getting clear about where you stand—and what you want—isn’t always easy. That’s where new resources like notBf come in. notBf is an AI companion designed especially for young women navigating the gray zones of modern dating. With hyper-personalized guidance, it helps users cut through confusion, set boundaries, and gain the clarity needed to take control of their dating lives.

Ultimately, if someone treats you as an option or avoids commitment, they’re telling you everything you need to know about their intentions. You deserve clarity, respect, and the chance for something real—don’t be afraid to claim it.